Purpose

Ever feel like you have a bigger advantage over people? Not in a means of performance or knowledge, but  in the area of opportunity?

You know; we all know the rich kid - or maybe you are the rich kid; who sees others walking into the doors with a bigger chance all because of social class.

It's disturbing.

Yea...life is not fair - boy do I know that...

Trust me - I've had plenty of opportunities to grow and mature and I deliberately avoided them. And now here I am, a 23 year old male, unemployed looking for a meaning, cause. and fucking purpose to put to use.

Worst feeling I can have from what Ive noticed, is feeling useless. like I'm breathing for no reason.

We are not machines. We are compassionate conscious carbon.

Crazy how we feel like we can starting living our lives once we've found our purpose; yet we spend so much time of it, trying to find purpose.
I think God intended it to be that way.

Four Starters

For starters; I just gotta say, cheap delicious wine is always awesome. If you haven't tried Oak Leaf wine - it's a must. #walmart

For the past 4 years approximately, I decided to start producing music. Took a few classes- 82 credits plus an Internship to be exact, yet I never completed an actual #degree in anything.

I just wanted to learn.
 
I took the classes that sounded the most interesting, and before I knew it, I was really close to achieving an AA in Music Performance and Business from ACC. A community college, which I'll admit, I'll mutter some mean things to myself for considering this an accomplishment, #pretentious

Don't get me wrong, I had some amazing professors that completely changed my life and gave me a view on not only #music, but an insight on living our own definitions of #success.

I'll never forget what my Music History teacher said...

"Don't let school get in the way with your #education.
Don't let school get in the way with your #education."

It struck a chord with me. I was two classes away from receiving my Associates #Degree, but I didn't feel like I was really headed toward any sense of #accomplishment.

I took the time to make the grades, work full-time, maintain a crazy girlfriend here and there (don't get me started...); everyone thought I doing great and on the road to #success.

They were wrong.

The day was March 17th, 2013. I was working overnight on Aisle 3 as a grocery stocker for #HEB Grocery.

I looked right at my coworker, dead in the eye and said...

"Luis, I really wanna quit school but I don't know if it's just the drugs."

He laughed as he knew I was being serious. I was known for taking a lot of psychedelics in my day, so my perspective on things was....different than others.

My idea of #success, wasn't a degree.
It wasn't #money.
It wasn't #fame or fortune.
Women or #power.

It was knowledge and wisdom.

I find myself questioning my everyday decisions, but all I can really do is look up, have #faith, and ask this Universe for #Wisdom

~Eric Rolled On

Introduction

An introduction to myself -  Eric Roldan.  I am currently a 23 year old male - born on March 7th, 1990.  I find this date to be particularly interesting as I have a passion for music. And as any Music Major student would know, all primary chords consist of a 3rd and 7th degree intervals. Nifty huh? That or I'm crazy; which a lot of people started to call me when I turned 22.

There is always so much to do in the world yet I tend to find myself having trouble staying busy. Which is probably why I'm starting this blog.

To anybody reading, I appreciate your time as this is the only way I feel like I can be honest in a semi-anoymous world of my confessions, desires, and every other emotion of being human.

Anybody who has made it this far can look back at all they have gained, lost, earned, and deserted. And the Wisdom that followed.

This blog isn't just for me. It's for anybody else who feels they can relate to my persona in this complex, cruel, compassionate, and sometimes confusing thing we call Life.

~Eric Rolled On